Incomprehensible Things
by Brannasaurus
Summary: Soul is dying. Somehow the black blood inside him is causing it, and there's no cure. Stein gives Soul a small journal and tells him to write. Soul writes, to no one in particular, and eventually dies. Stein hands the book to Maka, as was Soul's wish, and Maka discovers secrets Soul should never have kept...
1. Dirt Underneath Your Skin

**So this is my third fanfic for Soul Eater..I really should focus on one at a time but I don't work that way..enjoy..even tho it's depressing :(**

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October 16

Writing in a journal totally wasn't my idea. It's not like I'm gonna pour out my heart into this. I'm only doing it because Stein said I should. It'll help he says. Well I'm about to die, and I don't think writing a diary is going to help. Nothing will. It's inevitable. Something about the black blood is causing it. I guess Medusa wanted more then just madness for me. She was slowly killing me.

This discovery was made a few days ago. Everyone was out playing basketball, except for Maka and Liz. Maka was buried in a book again, and Liz was checking her nails. Occasionally Kid would flip out because something looked asymmetrical, or Black Star would scream, brag or laugh way too loud. Only a week before then, Maka had defeated Asura with a punch to the face.

We were all surprised as he crumbled to pieces, and Maka pulled out a postcard and quoted something about bravery. I remembered that postcard had come from Maka's mom. Nobody saw but me as a single tear trailed down her face. That's Maka for you.

Tired, bruised and hungry, we returned to the Academy, where everyone was watching and waiting, while the orb protected them from our view as we all fought for our lives. Lord Death was badly injured, as well as a few others, but we were safe. It was over, and I seriously wanted a burger.

Anyways back to the game. I was running up the court, Black Star on my heels. Kid waved his arms, signaling to pass, Patty jumping in front of him. I jumped and threw the ball, making the shot, and closing the game in a win for Kid, Tsubaki and I. The moment my feet came in contact with the ground, they have way as I clutched my chest. I felt a searing hot pain down my scar. The pain was indescribable, and I quickly blacked out.

Next thing I knew, I'm in the hospital, and Maka's head is laying on the bed beside me. Her pigtails are slightly tangled, and drool is dripping from the corner of her mouth. Every once in awhile she would moan my name, and I find myself stroking her head. I'll never tell anyone this, but I wanted to do so much more then pet her. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, love her, to make her mine, but I wasn't allowed, I couldn't do it.

She opened her eyes suddenly and jolted to a sitting position. Seeing I was awake, the worried look on her face vanished, and her green eyes sparkled,

"Soul, you're awake."

I laughed,

"I didn't know you drooled in your sleep."

Maka's face turned pink, she grabbed a book and chopped my head. I sighed and rubbed my head in disgust,

"Ow! You shouldn't hit the crippled."

Her eyes glared,

"You're not crippled!"

I burst into laughter, but had to stop as the pain once again tugged at my skin.

"Soul, you ok?"

I winced, then forced a smile,

"Yeah, I'm just dandy."

Maka suddenly stands, knocking the chair over, making a huge clang,

"Oops."

I lifted an eyebrow,

"What's the hurry?"

She ran out the door, still looking slightly disheveled yelling,

"I gotta get Stein!"

Damn Stein. That old man gives me the creeps. When Maka managed to bring him, after noticing I was awake, he asked Maka if she could give us some privacy. Maka looked at me, nodded and walked out, closing the door. I could tell something wasn't right. I mean, if he had anything to say, he could've told both of us. After, I was glad he had asked her to step out. He explained to me what was happening, and I began to cry. I was screaming at him,

"HOW LONG? HOW LONG HAVE YOU FUCKING KNOWN?"

Without the hysterics I knew, the answer. Since the beginning, ever since Medusa poisoned me with the damn black blood, and he never bothered to tell me. Stein left me to myself.

My life was about to come to an end. I wasn't going to see Maka, or anyone else. My cool appearance in this world was coming to a close. This whole show I was acting in was coming to a Fin, for good. There was so much I wanted to do.

I wanted to eat 99 kishin souls, and a witch one, to finally become a death scythe, in turn being dubbed cool, and making Maka so happy. I wanted to see her face when I finished that witches soul. I wanted to see her always smiling.

Maka. I wanted her. I needed her then, and I always have. I wanted her to stay by my side, I wanted to marry her, and make her mine. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her, and I might never get the chance. But now telling her seemed only pointless. It would hurt her more to know I loved her and died, then me dying without her knowing. Maka was supposed to be mine. Thinking like this brings tears to my eyes. Damn, and I said I wouldn't pour my heart out.

Two days later, I'm free to go. I have to come back for a periodic check up. Basically they were dropping me, dumping me out, checking my progress towards death. They left me to wait my death out, to wallow in silent misery until I took my last breath.

Leaving that hospital,I probably should've told Maka everything, but I couldn't. I wouldn't.

This is between you and me, but I'm such a coward. If someone reads this after I'm gone, please carve 'coward' onto my tombstone. It's interesting how death can be so funny when you're about to be the one doing it.

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** So how was it. Did you enjoy? I hope you know by the end of this story, I swear I'll make someone cry. I hope. Well tell me how it was.. I'll be waiting.**


	2. Bulletproof Heart

**I'll try to make this chapter longer...**

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Is this a dream? No wait, it's a memory.

I'm standing in an alley, empty except for Medusa, Stein and I. Only a few minutes ago, I felt two soul wavelengths of witches. Immediately I ran from the get together at my house, and I run into both of them. Apparently they had felt it too and had come to investigate.

Medusa. She's the school nurse who helped Soul, giving him black blood. She's the one causing him pain right now. I can't do anything about that of course, I'm seeing a memory.

I'm feeling the same things I felt then too. When I think about Soul, my chest hurts, and I can't help running away when I see the scar. He protected me from the demon swordsman Crona, almost killing himself. I want to become stronger, but this is preventing me.

"Maka!"

Soul calls out, and runs when he sees me. He followed me. I turn to look at him,

"Are you alright Maka?"

He pauses,

"You shouldn't take off on your own, It's too dangerous."

I look into his crimson eyes,

"I'm fine Soul."

He raises an eyebrow,

"Hmm?"

I look down, away from his gaze. I can't do it, I can't look at his scar. I bow my head reach out and place my hand gently on his chest. Somehow I need to face this scar, I won't let Soul get hurt like that again. If I see that swordsman again, I'll kill him. I refuse to let my fear control me any longer.

Soul looks at me, confused,

"You have to tell me what's going on."

I look up and address Stein,

"Alright professor Stein."

He tilts his head slightly,

"Yes?"

I walk forward and stop in front of him,

"I know what I'm lacking now. You told me to figure it out and I have."

He smirks,

"Very good. At last, Maka's finally found the courage to fight her fear."

I jolt, and sit upright in bed. That memory. I don't know why I dreamed about it. That memory did have an important meaning. It was when I learned to look at his scar as if it had always been there. That night was my first step towards strength. Towards the defeat of the kishin Asura.

After that Soul had been fine. He lived normal, acted normal. He didn't eat differently. The only thing different was the weird dreams, and then the madness which I saved him from. But now, the scar was hurting him. It's been happening for months, ever since October. Since that basketball game, it got worse and worse. Now Soul has to live in the hospital. He looks so skinny and pale, he's not going to be the same after this. Stein is there everyday, trying to help Soul. Soul keeps pushing me away. He doesn't want to scare me, but I'm not. I have faith in Stein, he's going to get better. Soul is going to live, there isn't any reason why he won't. It's Soul, the cool guy.

I rubbed my eyes and stretched. My clock reads 9:37, a little late for me. I guess this whole situation is affecting my sleep. I'll try visiting Soul again today. I don't care what that baka says, I'm going. It's not like he doesn't expect me to be stubborn anyway.

It takes me twenty minutes to get to the hospital walking. I prefer walking, it feels better. I would've rode my bike, but I didn't think about it as I quickly left the house, I wanted to see Soul. The weather feels nice, as the gentle breeze brushes my hair across my face. I can smell rich, green earth as i get near the hospital, it being in the nicer, less urbanized part of town. I watch as happy families exit with their new child. I watch as people are rushed into the ER, family, and friends running after, wanting to stay near to them, worry stricken on their faces. It's all the same really. There's beauty here, then there's death here also. Just by entering the building, I usually immediately connect with Soul's wavelength, but something was wrong. I couldn't feel it at all.

Before I even entered the room, I knew it. I saw it on Professor Stein's face as he sat with his head in his hands. I watched as Marie held him, crying. When they saw me, they tried to stop me, but I ran. I knew it, I did, but I wouldn't accept it. I ran, the fear pounding through my head.

A doctor yelled at me to stop running, blocking me. He kept trying to tell me to calm down, that I wasn't allowed back there. I didn't hear a single word, I needed to get to Soul. Without a second thought I knocked the man over as I returned to my unsteady running.

Coming up to the room I stopped. It wasn't true, and it couldn't ever be. I squeezed my eyes shut then walked in. When I opened again I saw a body covered up by a white sheet. A really clean white sheet. A hand stuck out the edge, a familiar hand that I often held. I froze. My head spun as fear, sadness overtook all of my body. Tears threatened to spill, and my heart screamed. Soul was ok, he was living. I could see his hand, he was real. The sheet, I moved to take it off. Soul doesn't like sheets, take it off. Before I even make it to him, hands trap me. I can't move and I fight.

"Soul doesn't like sheets. Soul doesn't sleep with sheets! Take them off!"

I kicked, I bit, and I cried. Nobody moved the sheet, and Soul never moved. Someone pressed a needle to my neck. Whatever it was, it made me fight harder. Soul, my Soul was gone. I could feel as the contents of the needle worked through me. It burned, I burned. The world spun and disappeared in seconds. My last thought belonged to Soul.

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Professor Stein pulls the pen out of Soul's hand and picks up the journal, taking a long look at the contents. Soul's body still lies underneath the sheet. Marie silently knocks on the door frame.

"Hey, you ok?"

The professor turns,

"Should we hand this over to Maka?"

Marie ponders for a moment, her eyebrows crumpling together.

"She needs time. A lot of time. We should watch and wait, this'll be very hard for her."

Stein places the book in his coat.

"Well, now we wait."

Marie smiles, a hint of sadness tainting her features,

"Now we wait."

In another room somewhere, a single girl cried in her sleep.

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** That wasn't as great as I wanted it to be. Screams**

**That scene, was a scene in the anime.**

**Cries, why Soul.**

**Hope you like, pls review and favorite..**


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